Jacksonville, FL – Ronald Eugene Robinson, 34, has been arrested on federal charges of tampering with consumer products after he allegedly returned as many as twelve used, resealed saline enemas to a CVS store. Several of the enemas were actually repurchased by unsuspecting, anally-retentive customers.

If convicted of the current charges, Robinson faces up to ten years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

Police contend that the repackaged enemas were returned for a refund between April 10th and June 15th and that fluid inside the packages tested positive for fecal matter.

The CVS store assures the public that they alerted authorities to the incidents as soon as they discovered them and have been cooperating with the investigation. They also say they have notified everyone who might have purchased product tainted with Robinson’s back-washed bum-juice.

“We fully cooperated with the authorities in their investigation of this matter and worked closely with the authorities to identify and contact any customer who purchased any of the potentially impacted enema products,” a CVS spokesperson wrote in an email statement. “… We’re not aware of any similar incidents in the past.”

It was not altogether difficult to nab the duplicitous ass-doucher because he had purchased the products with a credit card and they were able to obtain his vehicle’s plate number.…

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